Perils of Perfectionism

Asides the obvious bias of Matthew McConaughey being one of my favourite actors, his 2014 Oscar winning speech for Best Actor (Dallas Buyers Club) is arguably one of my favourite speeches ever. I’ve watched it countless times., but if you’re yet to see it, or will like to see again, you can watch it here after reading this post.

In his speech, McConaughey uses a paradox of his hero being him in 10years, and yet, his hero always being 10years ahead of him. His analogy was a remarkable articulation of a man’s pursuit of his higher self, yet having awareness of the fact that “as humans, the idea of realising our true potential is a perpetual, eternal and infinite journey”. He was alluding to his pursuit of perfection albeit with a clear consciousness that perfection is an illusion no man will fully actualise.

Illogically, even though we know as humans that the very construct of the human paradigm is underpinned by imperfection, we still romanticise with this illusory idea of perfection. We tend to fix one end of the scale of our life’s journey at “perfection” (e.g when I get my dream life, everything will be perfect), and whenever we fall short of this imaginary end state, we hold grievances against ourselves and in turn suffer from the of the perils of perfectionism which are deeply rooted in feelings of self-judgement, unhappiness, unworthiness or inadequacy. The aforementioned validates research which posits that “Perfectionism” is a behavioural adaptation to insecurity and that the very idea that one feels the need of a particular end state to feel complete means there’s a fundamental inadequacy within self that requires compensation.

However, embracing an understanding that as humans, we are constant work in progress with no finite destination in the process of exploring our full potential makes it easier to pursue our purpose without constantly judging ourselves against a standard which in itself is an illusion.

As a recovering perfectionist myself, its been a long but rewarding road to the firm realisation that “Perfection” doesn’t exist. That I should always give myself permission to start, knowing I may make mistakes along the way and that failure isn’t fatal, rather, it’s a precursor to success. Furthermore, having an appreciation that all things are impermanent, imperfect and incomplete allows for being kind to oneself, understanding that the capacity of what is means to be human is something that is infinite.

Striving for perfection can be unhealthy, and as the sole adjudicator of our own progress in the journey of life, it is unfair to judge ourselves against an illusory standard which leads to us begrudging ourselves. However, iteratively seeking the best version of oneself is an ideal worth striving for albeit best done with an acknowledgement that it’s a perpetual pursuit and knowing that there isn’t an end to actualising one’s potential, because if there is indeed an end to the game, then the game itself will be boring. “Keep trying. As long as you’re trying, you’re not failing”.

Remember - “Never become perfect, because you’ll have no one to relate to” - Peter Crone

Peace, Love and Light,